Ain't So Sweet.

It's official. Keisha Buchanan is no longer a Sugababe. GASP. While that may mean absolutely nothing to you, it means something to me, so harumph. Sugababes are a hugely popular UK girl group comprised of three ladies. Unlike female-centric groups of past and present, the girls can actually sing. Like, all three of them....not just one. All three. They've had several #1's and their music has been considered to be some of pop's best (Freak Like Me, Push the Button, About You Now.....just to name a few). Sounds perfect right? Then WTF, Keisha. But then again, the 'Babes are no stranger to regrouping. This will be their fourth, count'em fourth, line-up. First: Siobhan, Mutya, Keisha. Then: Mutya, Keisha, Heidi. THEN: Keisha, Heidi, Amelle. NOW: Heidi, Amelle, Jade. Somehow, their label has kept this Suga-Menage-a-trois poppin'.

The secret? Keeping fans interested in the Sugababes as a whole, as opposed to each individual member holding any weight. Therefore, even when a girl leaves, the group isn't disbanded, it's just.....refreshing. It's an intriguing concept considering how loyal (read: crazy) fans can be. The group's dynamic is altered, especially since the strongest singers have been the girls that have left. The sound changes. The vocals are different. But we're made to believe this is the same Sugababes. Would the Pussycat Dolls be the same if Nicole left? How about if Chris Martin threw the deuces to Coldplay? But, where other groups have faltered (Van Halen, Journey) the Sugababes continue to excel. And the 5 guys that read this blog are cursing Ben Douglas' name for putting Van Halen and Sugababes in the same sentence. Get over it, duuuuude.

So, Keisha. I wish you well. I mean, yeah, I think you're a douchebag for leaving my precious 'Babes. But hey, I'll still keep you on my Christmas card list. I'm looking forward to your mediocre first single and your guest appearances on celebrity editions of unavailing reality competition shows. Buena suerte!

- B.

In Case You Missed It.

Lady Gaga's epic performance of "Paparazzi" during the 2009 VMAs last night. This one will go down as one of the best VMA performances ever. For sure. Brilliant!

Lady Gaga - New Music - More Music Videos

What's so Funny?

Just Amazing.

Why I Never Go Out.

You wanna know why I never go out? Because I'm a man servant to my freaking DVR. With premieres flowing out this whole week, I'm drowning in a frothy ocean of entertainment. Last night was Melrose Place. Tonight is a 1-2-3 punch of Glee, America's Next Top Model, and So You Think You Can Dance. Tomorrow I'm giving The Vampire Diaries a chance, if only for the fact that Kevin Williamson (writer of Dawson's Creek and Scream) is involved. WHEW. Not to mention all the other crap I feel obligated to glue my eyes to. It's not enough that I work 40 hrs a week AND I'm in a musical with rehearsals and performances. Hot damn. So, you know what happens? I end up deleting more shows than I actually watch (forgive me, Drop Dead Diva).

Give me a break, DVR! But then I think, "Where would we be without you?" Well, I'll tell you. OUT. We'd be out. Having a good time, living life, enriched in the world, blah blah. Look, I don't have time to go out. PLUS, all my beer money is spent on my out-of-this-world Time Warner bill. If you wanna spend time with me, come over for Top Model.

Love Them.

The Saturdays just released their first single "Forever is Over" from their sophomore album Colonial Masses. It's awesome. I just. That's. I mean. I can't find words. Watch. Video. Now. Your ears will thank us.

Don't Hold Back.

Listen to this song. Think of what you can do as you don't hold back. The potential is there as long as you believe in yourself. I know it's challenging. I know there are obstacles. There's a world out there that's aching to be pursued. If nothing else, you are wonderful.

Justin Timberlake-Douglas.

WHY DIDN'T WE KNOW ABOUT THIS?!?! Ugh. It's so nice to see my future husband at work. Swooooooooooon.

Cutest Cuteness of Cuteland.

For You, Straight Male SugarJerk Reader.

I present you.......booby-grabbing.

You're welcome.

Oh, Look. The VMAs are on.

With the MTV Video Music Awards quickly approaching us, I present you with my favorite performances of the last couple years...

Britney Spears : (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction/Oops!...I Did It Again Medley : 2000

I mean. Duh. Chick tore it up. This performance was at the peak of Brit's popularity and success, and this solidified her stance as a pop phenom. No one will ever top this groundbreaking performance. The 2000 VMAs was totally Britney's bitch. I, of course, mean the prison-sense of the word.

Kelly Clarkson : Since U Been Gone : 2005

Oh, hey Post-American Idol Kelly Clarkson. How are you? Wow, you're awfully angsty. What happened to being "Thankful" and realizing what "The Trouble with Love Is." Kelly. Calm down. You're screaming in my ear. But it sounds so good! What's this jump thing we've got going on? I dunno, but it's irresistible. The Kelly we know and love was introduced on that stage. Ryan Seacrest, what?

Beyonce : Ring the Alarm : 2006

First of all, this is like my favorite B track. Second of all, I truly believe she's one the best performers out there today. Her vocals are strong. Her dancing is sick. And she straight up puts her all into this performance. Passionate, exciting, and powerful. And you know I'm a sucker for long, flowing trenchcoats and killer backbends.

Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Madonna & Missy Elliot : Like A Virgin/Hollywood Medley : 2003

The Ultimate VMA Performance. There's not much more to say. Except that I wish I was on stage with them. In the middle. Pushing Christina off the stage. Doing an ad lib solo...........Yes, I've thought of this. Several times. Planned out in my mind............I'm gonna go now.

Songs You Should Just Know.

These little gems are what I'm workin' that booty to, ya heard.

01. Get Sexy by The Sugababes (Just pure hotness. Done.)

02. Forever is Over by The Saturdays (Totally melodic and catchy.)

03. Aha! by Imogen Heap (Twists and turns like a Tim Burton film. Listen, you'll get it.)

04. Silly Boy by Eva Simons (Feisty and punchy. Just like I want my women. Well....)

05. Celebration by Madonna (I mean....come on. It's Madonna.)

06. Hot Mess by Ashley Tisdale (The Tiz gets....dare I say.....adult?!)

07. Living in the Sky with Diamonds by Cobra Starship (Breezy, windows down track)

08. Superbad by Adrienne Bailon (I often do my own choreo to this in my apartment. Do the same.)

09. Bad Boys by Alexandra Burke feat. Flo Rida (Just a fun song. She'll be big.)

10. Sexy Bitch by David Guetta feat. Akon (TOTALLY my jam. Loving this one.)

Now, you have to understand....The Sugababes, The Saturdays, and Alexandra Burke are UK artists and you won't find their stuff in the US -- Although, The Sugababes just signed a record deal with Jay-Z's label Roc Nation, so you might be hearing of them stateside soon.

Now, go educate yourself.

Shut Up and Watch Me WALK.

Look. and Listen. If you don't like this song, Get Sexy by the Sugababes, then you either (1) are lame, (2) a straight guy, or (3) you obviously just hate me and everything I stand for. Either way, you need to change the 'tude, cuz this song is the shiiiiiiiit. Thanks for your undivided attention. Now DANCE.

Vagina Wings.

Red Bull Energy Douche with Mandy Moore from Mandy Moore

Gratuitous Britney Pimping.

You're welcome.

Image is Everything.

Your mom was wrong. It does matter how you look......at least in the entertainment industry. I was chatting with my friend Heather about Katharine McPhee's drastic image transformation to coincide with her "edgy" (Kat's words, eh) new album Unbroken. Heather said, "She's unrecognizable. People won't know who she is." And I said, "Hmmmmm."

I got to thinking of how certain image changing blunders have affected female celebrities' careers. It's typically going from long and flowy, to short and static. America has always had a societical repulsion to cropped hair on women, claiming it's not as sexy. Whereas, in the fashion world, short hair is seen as chic and couture.

Does the haircut determine the popularity and success?

The Art of Diva.

Welcome to September, which is apparently Diva Smackdown Month. We got Whitney. We got Madonna. We got Mariah. Who will reign supreme? I measure up the claw-scratchin', finger-waggin' competition...

Whitney Houston - A pop culture punching bag and a one-woman tagline machine (see: "Bob-bay!" and "Awh, Hell to the NO"). New album I Look to You being hailed as the "comeback." But does anyone care? I mean, maybe if it were 1998.

Madonna - AKA The Guns. Homegirl be lookin' rough lately. She looks malnourished. Her album Celebration is a greatest hits album, which is usually hit or miss with consumers. Although, her single is my jam right now. But have you heard it? Probably not....unless you're a queeny queen rockin' out at the club in a v-neck and skinny jeans.

Mariah Carey - Mimi's on her way to beat the Beatles' record 20 #1 singles. Will this be the album to do it? Current single Obsessed has peaked at #11. Against her: pushed her album Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel back TWICE. Whoa, M. Looks like someone's shaking in her diamond-encrusted panties!

Out of all these fine ladies, I'm gonna give the edge to Mariah. She's the most relevant today. Whitney's over and Madonna just can't latch on to previous success. Although we must remember these women have one thing in common. Madonna adopts children in need, Whitney adopted a crackpipe, and Mariah adopted Nick Cannon.

-B.