You Ain't Got Big Balls [Like a Truck]

BIG NEWS -- We're pleased to announce the upcoming debut of our single "You Ain't Got Big Balls [Like a Truck]" The single will debut on Friday, February 5th and the music video will debut Saturday, February 6th. Mark your calendars and get ready!!!!

Yeah, this happened.

Allison: "You know who I wanna meet?"

Ben: "Katy Perry?"

Allison: "Well yeah.....but no, Dr. Drew."

Ben: "All you need is an addiction."

Allison: "Yeah, I wanna make up an addiction so that he makes up a show about it."

Ben: "Like light bulbs --"

Allison: "-- couch sex."

Auto-Tune Out.

Oh boy. When did T-Pain start fucking Justin Bieber? (TOO FARRR.)

Judge away, my sweets.

Time Flies.

Guess what's coming up soon? SUGARJERK'S FIRST ANNIVERSARY. Holy shiznit, y'all. That means a whole year of our ridiculousness. Remember 'Dear Diario' or 'Reasons Why I'm Single'.....??? DAMN. It's been a crazy year. Soooo. Mark your calendars....and celebrate with us.

February 5, 2010

Whataya Want from Him??

Latest music video for Adam Lambert's "Whataya Want from Me." LOVE IT. I'm so obsessed. It's getting scary.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Spotlight: Erik Hassle

Listen up, folks. Erik Hassle is the guy to watch in 2010 -- without a doubt. He's got a killer voice and his melodies are swoon-worthy. His look puzzles me, which is a good thing. He's interesting to watch. One second he's really attractive, and then it's all wrong. I like that, and I like him! So, let this be proof that I predicted this one. You'll see.

Here's his video for "Hurtful." Tell me what you think...

All Hail Ke$ha.

So y'all have heard of Ke$ha by now, right? She's the dirty pop girl with the songs that refuse to leave your cranium. Right now, she has the top 2 songs on the iTunes download chart, and her debut album is poised to enter the Billboard 200 albums chart at #1. But.....who is she? You might recognize her voice from Flo Rida's "Right Round"...yep that was her. Now, you can't turn on the radio (people still listen to radios?) without hearing "TiK ToK."

I think what makes her so appealing, is that she really speaks to our generation. She's the girl that ends up in all the pictures by the end of the party. She's the girl that kills the keg stand. She's the girl sandwiched between her girlfriends grinding to some bass-heavy auto-tuned rap song. She's the typical 22-year-old girl, exaggerated for show. I feel like I know Ke$ha. And I'm ready for a "Party at a Rich Dude's House." Plus, she vommed in Paris Hilton's closet, which is pretty epic.

So I'm ready to learn more about this girl. And i'm def rocking out to her album. And the bitch is just out to have FUN. Pass the red bull and vodka.

SugarJerk goes shopping.

3: Un-CUT.

The director's cut of Britney's "3" video.....if you haven't drooled over it yet. I'm gushing.

Top 10 Albums.

Go to Examiner.com and read Ben's article on his favorite albums of 2009. You won't regret it. Well, you might, but I can't help that.

GET OUT TANK.

DOGS NEED TO KNOW THEIR PLACE AMONGST US HUMANS. We think Tank learned his lesson...

Left to our Own Devices.

This is what happens when Mel and I get together in an empty house on a Thursday night. Cue laughter.

Cheeseburgers.

Ben's Favorite Music Videos of 2009.

2009 went by crazy fast. Like super duper, holy crap, OMFG fast. And I'll tell you one thing about myself....I love lists. Reading them, making them, just love 'em. So here's my favorite music videos of this year in no particular order (cuz that'd be way too hard.)

3 by Britney Spears: What's a year-end list by Ben Douglas without The Legendary Miss Britney Spears, y'all?!! Her love letter to menage-a-trois was already a hot song and then she went and made a video that brought back the Brit we know and love. A stark, simple video that starts out slow and ends up in a frenzied, she's-touching-who?! wonderment of a video. Makes me wish I could rock a deep V-neck white leotard....but lucky for y'all, I can't.

Bad Romance by Lady Gaga: This was truly the year of Gaga and her videos get better and better. Look. I'ma put it out there. Bitch is twisted. But that's what makes her amazing! She manages to make what's disgusting...beautiful. The choreography is sick and the beauty shots show a softer, prettier Gaga than we're used to. Easily one of my favorite music videos of all time.......sorry Beyonce.

Hush Hush; Hush Hush by The Pussycat Dolls: I mean....I'm a huge PCD fan. HUGE. And seriously, this is my favorite video of theirs. It's just so....Pussycat Dolls. It's camp, flashy, hot, and everything this gay boy loves all wrapped up in a tanned, toned package. I dare you to not smile or shake that ass when watching this video.

Happy by Leona Lewis: This video is just stunning. I love the setting, and Leona Lewis is gorgeous! It's not often that a video hits me on an emotional level like this one does. By the end of the video, my heart just aches for her. And talk about a video that ACTUALLY matches the song it's supposed to visually represent! I praise you Leona!

My Life Would Suck Without You by Kelly Clarkson: Oh thank God Kelly is smiling again! The dark ages (My December) have ended and Kelly is back to her 'Since U Been Gone' ways, and I truly can't thank her enough. Kelly is charming and playful in this clip that accompanied arguably one of the biggest singles of the year. Keep it positive, Kels....you don't wear depression well.

For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert: Holy homosexual, Batman! This video is what the AMAs performance should have been. It's dark, hard, and oh-so-sexy! Adam brings the heat with a chorus of writhing dancers eager for just a touch of the American Idol star. Adam oozes hotness and confidence and power and sexuality and I need a cold shower.

Don't Do It 2010.

Recap that MESS.

Spotlight: Agnes Carlsson.

Obsession ALERT! Here, ladies and gentlemen, is the winner of Swedish Idol in 2005, Agnes Carlsson. You can think of her as Leona Lewis on crack. She's just released her debut US single "Release Me," and it's swooping melody should hook you right away. But don't think of this chick as another throwaway "dance diva"....girl's got some serious vocals. Here are a couple of her videos to start the introduction. Looks like Sweden is further proving it has pop music in a major headlock.

Dang. Anything Else?!

This sketch will go down in history. Don't get loud wit me sur. Do not. get loud. wit me.

Video Fail.

Out with the Old, In with the A(meh)zing.

The time is now, people. The smut has returned. Welcome back, The Hills and The City.

The Hills underwent a massive overhaul this season with the exit of anchor Lauren Conrad, and entrance of bitch premier Kristin Cavallari. Look, lemme just say, I'm a huuuuge LC fan, but on Laguna Beach, I was totally Team Kristin. What can I say? I love a girl who speaks her mind and gets what she wants.

Kristin is back to her old ways of stirring the pot and sharpening the claws. All good fun. Then there's Blank-face Audrina. Really, girl? You're all up in arms about JUSTIN BOBBY?! The guy's a doucherocket. Lucky for us, I hear that Audrina is leaving the show super soon. Bad news, she may be getting her own spin-off. Uhwhat. First episode: "How to Master an Emotionless Stare." Yikes. Anyway, it's weird not having Lauren on the show, but I think Kristin is interesting...as long as she doesn't get wrapped up in Justin. Vom. And speaking of vom, someone please tell Stephanie Pratt to get a day job.

Now, to The City. I actually really liked the first episode and the new additions. Plus, I'm glad that cottonmouth of a boyfriend Whitney had is out of the picture. I'm loving the drama between Olivia and her colleague at Elle Magazine, Erin. Juicy! Now. Let's talk about Whit's new roommate Roxy. Whoaaaaa. What a freakin' trainwreck. I smell trouble, and it reminds of me of beef jerkey and chewing tobacco. One, she's suuuuuch a Kelly Cutrone wannabe. "Why'd you leave LA"..."Cuz I'm the only one in all black." Yeah...okay sweetheart. We see right through you! Two, how old are they trying to pass this chick as? I suspect menopause. But apparently Roxy and Whit went to high school together. I wasn't aware that 32 yr olds can enroll in high school. Either way, she's bringin' the drama and I love how she uproots Whit's perfect little rhinestone-belted world.

I'm gonna give The City a solid A, while The Hills slightly disappoints with a C+.

What'd you think?

B.