Out with the Old, In with the A(meh)zing.

The time is now, people. The smut has returned. Welcome back, The Hills and The City.

The Hills underwent a massive overhaul this season with the exit of anchor Lauren Conrad, and entrance of bitch premier Kristin Cavallari. Look, lemme just say, I'm a huuuuge LC fan, but on Laguna Beach, I was totally Team Kristin. What can I say? I love a girl who speaks her mind and gets what she wants.

Kristin is back to her old ways of stirring the pot and sharpening the claws. All good fun. Then there's Blank-face Audrina. Really, girl? You're all up in arms about JUSTIN BOBBY?! The guy's a doucherocket. Lucky for us, I hear that Audrina is leaving the show super soon. Bad news, she may be getting her own spin-off. Uhwhat. First episode: "How to Master an Emotionless Stare." Yikes. Anyway, it's weird not having Lauren on the show, but I think Kristin is interesting...as long as she doesn't get wrapped up in Justin. Vom. And speaking of vom, someone please tell Stephanie Pratt to get a day job.

Now, to The City. I actually really liked the first episode and the new additions. Plus, I'm glad that cottonmouth of a boyfriend Whitney had is out of the picture. I'm loving the drama between Olivia and her colleague at Elle Magazine, Erin. Juicy! Now. Let's talk about Whit's new roommate Roxy. Whoaaaaa. What a freakin' trainwreck. I smell trouble, and it reminds of me of beef jerkey and chewing tobacco. One, she's suuuuuch a Kelly Cutrone wannabe. "Why'd you leave LA"..."Cuz I'm the only one in all black." Yeah...okay sweetheart. We see right through you! Two, how old are they trying to pass this chick as? I suspect menopause. But apparently Roxy and Whit went to high school together. I wasn't aware that 32 yr olds can enroll in high school. Either way, she's bringin' the drama and I love how she uproots Whit's perfect little rhinestone-belted world.

I'm gonna give The City a solid A, while The Hills slightly disappoints with a C+.

What'd you think?

B.