The Art of Diva.

Welcome to September, which is apparently Diva Smackdown Month. We got Whitney. We got Madonna. We got Mariah. Who will reign supreme? I measure up the claw-scratchin', finger-waggin' competition...

Whitney Houston - A pop culture punching bag and a one-woman tagline machine (see: "Bob-bay!" and "Awh, Hell to the NO"). New album I Look to You being hailed as the "comeback." But does anyone care? I mean, maybe if it were 1998.

Madonna - AKA The Guns. Homegirl be lookin' rough lately. She looks malnourished. Her album Celebration is a greatest hits album, which is usually hit or miss with consumers. Although, her single is my jam right now. But have you heard it? Probably not....unless you're a queeny queen rockin' out at the club in a v-neck and skinny jeans.

Mariah Carey - Mimi's on her way to beat the Beatles' record 20 #1 singles. Will this be the album to do it? Current single Obsessed has peaked at #11. Against her: pushed her album Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel back TWICE. Whoa, M. Looks like someone's shaking in her diamond-encrusted panties!

Out of all these fine ladies, I'm gonna give the edge to Mariah. She's the most relevant today. Whitney's over and Madonna just can't latch on to previous success. Although we must remember these women have one thing in common. Madonna adopts children in need, Whitney adopted a crackpipe, and Mariah adopted Nick Cannon.

-B.